| "You knew I was here?"
"Yes, I did. Suddenly I did. I thought you were calling me but it wasn't you was it?"
"No."
"You didn't want to see me?"
"It wasn't that. No. I didn't want to see you. It hurts too much."
"It must be hard not being alive."
"You mean it's hard for you to be dead? Look I'm still going to figure out hot to bring you back, roperly. I think I'm on the right track-"
"No, I mean, I'm grateful. And I hope you really can do it. I did a lot of bad stuff.....But I was talking about you."
"I'm alive. I'm not dead. Remember?"
"You're not dead. But I'm not sure you're alive either. Not really. I love you, you're my puppy. But when you're really dead you see things clearer. It's like there isn't anyone there. You know? YOu're this big, solid, man-shaped hole in the world. Even when we were together. I loved being with you. You adored me, and you would do anything for me. But sometimes I'd go into a room and I wouldn't think there was anybody in there. And I'd turn the light on, or I'd turn the light off and I'd realize that you were in there, sitting on your own, not reading, not watching TV, nto doing anything. The best thing about Robbie was that he was somebody. He was a jerk sometimes, and he could be a joke, and he loved to have mirrors around when we made love so he could watch himself fucking me, but he was alive puppy. He wantedhtings. He filled the space. I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings."
"No"
"Good. That's good."
"I'm not dead."
"Maybe not, but are you sure you're alive?"
"Look at me"
"That's not an answer. You'll know it when you are."
"What now?"
"Well, I've seen you now. I'm going south again."
"Back to Texas?"
"Somewhere warm. I don't care."
"I have to wait here until my boss needs me."
"That's not living."
"You are the nearest thing I have to life. You are the only thing I have left, the only thing that isn't bleak and flat and grey. I could be blindfolded and dropped into the deepest ocean and I would know where to find you. I could be buried a hundred miles underground and I would know where you are."
"That man, Mr.World, he said he was going to put a stick through your eye.I didn't like him at all."
"He's dead. You killed him, hon.
"Thats good. Did you ever figure out how to bring me back from the dead?"
"I guess. I know one way, anyway."
"That's good. And the opposite? What about that?"
"The opposite?"
"Yes, I think I must have earned that."
"I don't want to do that........okay."
"Thats my husband."
"I love you babes."
"Love you puppy."
He close his hand around the golden coin that hung around her neck. He tugged, hard, at the chain, which snapped easily. The he took the gold coin between his finger and thumb, and blew on it, and opened his hand wide. The coing was gone. Her eyes were still open but they didn't move. He bent down then, and kissed jer, gently, on her cold cheek, but she did not respond. He did not expect her to. Ther he got up and walked out of the cavern, to stare into the night.
You wouldn't get any of this fully unless you've read American Gods. Within the story there is an ongoing love story between the main charecter and his wife, who died in a car crash shortly before he was released from prison. Frankily, I really liked it. |
